What I’ve Learned From One Month in Therapy.

Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, life throws you a curveball and changes it all up.

And for a person who relies on consistency and routine to navigate the world, it can feel really disorienting.

The odds that as you read this, you are relating to your own recent disorientation is pretty high, given that we’ve all been forced to change our routines, our norms, our way of life, possibly a number of times, over this past year.

Just my kids’ school arrangements have changed 3 times now. Which means my schedule has gone out the window each time.

Silver lining…it has definitely worked my resiliency muscle.

But its also fair to say that I’m exhausted. 

It’s hard work to have to revise your whole life at the drop of a hat, and still keep all the balls in the air.

In my last post I talked about how things all came crashing in on me again recently.

Following my old way of doing things, I would just move on when I felt better. I’d tell myself…

‘See I’m fine! I don’t need to spend any more time focusing on this right now. I have SO many other things to do!’

But this time, I managed to recognize that the problems I was experiencing, were rooted in issues that kept coming up. …Over and over again. 

I’m not sure where I heard it, and it was actually in reference to business, but the question was posed… ‘have you been in business for 3 years, or do you just keep doing the first year over and over again. ‘

Eek!

Not only did I relate to that on a business level, but also on a personal level.

Why am I putting a bandaid on these issues again and again when I know there’s a problem.

Not dealing with them is preventing me from being all I can be. I KNOW that they will be back. Why don’t I just address them now and stop this song and dance!

So, I booked myself an appointment with a therapist.

I needed to figure out why I kept letting the same issues derail me. And while its only been a month, I feel a distinct relief to finally be digging into things.

What I’ve learned, are some strategies for prioritizing my mental space, so that I’m less likely to fall into old traps.

I’ve also adjusted my morning routine to include activities that help to set me up for a great day.

Not sure if your morning routine is supporting you?

Ask yourself…

• Does your day start with a bang, and never lets up?
• Are you doing anything specifically to contribute to experiencing a good a day?
• Is there 1 small habit you could add that would make your day consistently better?

I would imagine that even if your morning routine is not bad, you could make it work even better for you.

Here are a few of the new habits I’ve introduced into my morning routine.

Morning Routine Add-Ons:

Journaling: 

I can tell this one is going to take a moment to really become a habit. Right now I only journal on weekdays.

Some days I have something to say, other days I feel like I don’t really. And I just write that.

But the one part I always do write is 5 things I’m grateful for. My hot coffee.. my cozy robe… my cute dogs… my backyard… my awesome husband… our beautiful family…

Big and small.

Meditation:

Ok…so I tried doing this once before. I created my space and tried to christen it with 30 days of Meditation.

I didn’t make it to 30 days.

What I learned is that I need to go a bit slower…so I’m doing 5 minutes a day right now. I’m not putting any more requirements on myself in this department. Just figuring out how to quiet my mind for 5 minutes a day is enough of a challenge for me!

Guided Meditations

I also like Guided Mediations and Workshops. I am always enriched by the perspective offered, or tool given.

Insight Timer was the first place I looked because I knew they had some guided meditations. I looked for one that spoke to my current challenge and chose a 10-day guided series called Overcoming Your Fear of Failure with Giovanni Dientsmann. 

If this is your thing too, here were some great takeaways that I got. 

• ‘The embarrassment you feel after failure will be forgotten. The money you lose can be recovered. But its the loss of dreams that really drowns the soul.’
• Failure is not your enemy, fear is.
• Persevere in the path of your calling. No matter what.
• Get up as many times as you fall. Each time stronger and wiser. This is the attitude of greatness.
• From the bottom, all paths go up

My Revelation: My fear is preventing me from growing into the gifts I have.

See what I’m saying?! There is always something you can take away from another perspective!

Personal Affirmations: 

My therapist suggested this practice, and I love it.

This was not something I had done before, so I wasn’t sure what to say at first, but once I read some others, I was better able to clarify the specific support I needed.

Here are a few of my personal affirmations:

• I embrace the rhythm of life and let it unfold in its time.
• I am willing to release my old patterns of fear and insecurity to live with joy and wellbeing now.
• I have all that I need to face any obstacle that comes.
• I have the knowledge to make smart decisions for myself.
• I release the idea that I am not ‘the right kind’

Audio Affirmations:

I had no idea this was even a thing! 

But I was introduced to ‘Worth Ethic’, a track from Toni Jones’  album ‘Affirmations for Grown Ass Women’ (fabulous title right?)

While I was getting ready in the morning I’d put on my airpods and listen to the album, and what I found was that having those positive statements straight into my ears made me feel like I was AAAAALLLLLLLLL that!

I don’t see how that could be a bad way to start the day!

Mindset Work:

Mindset is also a really important factor. 

It’s like the windshield of life. The filter through which you see everything. So you better make sure you’re not looking through a bug-splattered one everyday!! 

For me, keeping a healthy mindset requires a regular influx of positive messages and thoughts. 

I’ve described my mental health as a balloon filled with air, that has a tiny hole in it.

It slowly deflates over time unless it is continually refilled.

That’s just me.

Not everyone needs the positivity to fill their balloon.

But the one thing we all do have in common, is that we can be derailed by a toxic mindset.

So take control of the dialogue in your own head and see if you can come up with 2 or 3 affirmations that reflect your truth more accurately, and support you more intentionally.

Then post them up somewhere, speak them to yourself, and energize and inspire your inner space.