5 Ways to Beat The Blues
Whether you’ve been feeling sad for awhile or just feel like you can’t get your act together in this season, here are 5 ways to beat the blues, especially if you’re a stay-at-home mom.
When it’s dark and gloomy outside, I often feel dark and gloomy inside. I’m like this for months.
And I know I’m not the only one.
This can happen to me at any time of year, but during the colder, darker months, it’s guaranteed.
They have a name for this phenomenon, Seasonal Affective Disorder, appropriately abbreviated to S.A.D.
-Mayo clinic
At this point in my life, it’s not surprising when the blues come around. It happens every year. But my knowledge of what is happening doesn’t make the effects any less intense.
For me, it often starts as one issue but quickly snowballs into an overwhelming consensus that everything is terribly wrong, I’m messing everything up, and everything is crumbling around me.
*Note the use of the word everything. A definite sign that I am not having balanced thinking.
Here’s an example of how it goes down for me.
A pile of laundry sits in the living room, where I’ve intentionally placed it to remind myself that it needs to get done. But it’s now been sitting there for a few days, and the pile is just getting bigger. As I look at the unfinished task, I start to feel the creeping beginnings of overwhelm.
“I just can’t keep up! I feel like I’m behind on everything.”
As I wallow in my perceived failings, I remind myself of all the other things that need to get done.
“Oh my gosh, I still haven’t written that new blogpost! How am I supposed to that when I’ve still got to work on the new style for MSL Bags? I wanted to be done with a new set by March. I’m never going to be able to get that work done. I mean literally do not have the time! I’m failing at so much.
Look at my sweet dogs. I know they’d love to do more than just sit in the house. I’ve been talking about walking them more often and I’m just not doing it. It’s too cold! I just need buck up.
I almost forgot! Summer school enrollment for my daughter! I need to figure that out before I miss a deadline!
I’m such a mess. Even my face is having problems. I think my skin must be extra dry right now cuz it definitely has been looking pretty dull.
Not helping my stress! Oh crap, my 2 week anniversary trip is coming up in a few months! Am I going to be able to get everything ready for my sister-in-law when she comes to take care of the kids, and the house, and the pets? Who is going to give the bird his medicine twice a day? I usually handle that.
Ugh…I wanted to film some reels for my business social media. Speaking of business, I’ve really got to get all my organizational systems in order. I’m so BEHIND!”
Basically I spiral.
Everything is upon me in an instant and I feel buried in a pile of unaccomplished tasks, disappointment in myself, and a feeling of inescapable dread.
Words like ‘Never’, ‘Everything’, ‘Always’ and ‘Can’t’ dominate my thoughts.
If your thoughts are your reality, this time is a landscape of closed doors and impossible tasks.
Now add in the guilt and anger for complaining about such a blessed life!
Why can’t I hold onto the happy?!
One sign that that I’m not dealing well is when I start to binge watch television shows (I’m looking at you Great Pottery Throwdown), and taking lots of naps. (Although I do just like a good nap 😛)
It’s a sign that I am trying to escape from my mind. These tactics do work to alleviate the immediate discomfort, but they don’t actually resolve anything.
I know that when it starts to be more sunny outside, my mindset will magically improve and I will feel much more hopeful about life. I have learned that I need to just keep moving forward as best I can, until said sunny days arrive. Which could be months away.
So how do I beat back those blues? I’ve come up with a couple of surefire ways that I can lift myself out of the muck.
Listen to Music Tied to Happy Memories
Is there a song that reminds you of summer? That reminds you of a favorite time in life, or specific action like driving in the car with your mom when you were a kid? A sunny day at the beach? Dancing in the kitchen on the weekend?
When you hear a piece of music tied to a memory, you are instantly transported back to that time. You feel all the feels.
The point is to change your inner landscape and music is one of the quickest and most reliable ways to do that.
Make it Part of Your Morning
I try to reframe the tasks I need to achieve each day, and the way I do this is by setting my intentions every morning.
As part of getting ready, I make a point of mentally, as well as physically preparing. I take a look at my schedule for the day, (which I write out every Sunday), and ask myself what kind of joy I can find in each of the activities.
If I have to do errands that day, I can decide to listen to a podcast while I’m in the car. Maybe something funny, or thrilling. That way getting back in the car is something to look forward to.
The podcast trick also works for chores like making the bed, cleaning the house or yardwork.
Because I’m trying to build a business, I have a lot of content creation, organizational tasks, and product creation work to do. Some of it I enjoy more than others.
So when I have to do something I’m not exactly looking forward to, I turn to reframing or shifting my perspective. I think about how appreciative I am to have the kind of life that affords me the opportunity to pursue my own business. I think of the multitude of less appealing things I could have to be doing. I think about what I love about my life, and put into perspective how much of my actual time I have to spend doing said task.
And then I question whether its possible for me to actually have FUN doing this task.
Wouldn’t it be nice if more things I did during my day were actually enjoyable?
The bottom line is,you have to do all the things anyways, right? Might as well try to focus on the good parts.
Stand Up For Yourself
Have you ever really thought about how you talk to yourself in your mind? While you may be your own biggest cheerleader sometimes, I’d bet that most of the time, what you are saying to yourself in your mind, is negative.
Sometimes downright mean.
And I don’t think we recognize the atmosphere we are creating for ourselves. The space we are supposed to create healthy lives from. How are you supposed to soar when your mind is telling you that you can’t do it.
Changing the atmosphere in our minds starts with changing your self talk.
Starting today, start to be aware of your inner dialogue, and start challenging that voice. Respond directly as if it were someone else saying these things to you, and offer an example of how its not true. Think of that voice as an online troll there to intentional sabotage you.
Stand up for yourself!
Let Someone Else Do the Talking
I love a guided meditation! You can sign up for free on the InsightTimer app, where you can find people have recorded words of affirmation, and guided mediations on any number of topics.
In order to balance the negativity that enters, I know that I need to input positivity. But I can only do so much on my own.
Take advantage of the hard work these creators put into developing words meant to uplift you. Its such an easy way to change your inner landscape by listening to someone else who has catered a conversation to motivate, inspire and uplift you.
Don’t Do It Alone
Now, I will be the first person to tell you that I LIKE to be alone. I’ve never been one to have a large social network, or a very busy social calendar.
So when the down times come, I can easily go deeper into my cave, and forgo all un-necessary human interactions.
But logically, I know that when I do go out, I inevitably enjoy it, feel better, and say that I should do that more often. So I just schedule the things.
It can be going out with a friend, or staying in with a friend. Whatever. Just connecting with someone else besides your family on a regular basis.
Its Not All About You
Really though. Are you possibly more focused on yourself and your problems more than you need to be?
Whenever I just can’t shake a bad mood, its usually because I’m focusing too much on ME.
Finding somethign that will force your focus outwards is a helpful way to interrupt that hyperfocus.
Activities like Yoga or other exercise, volunteering for an in-need organization, or even craft or artwork. When you do something that requires all of your attention, your mind has to focus on what you are doing, and it gives you a break from obsessing about your own negative emotions.
The thing to remember is that these are all pieces of the puzzle.There is not one magic elixir that will fix things when you are feeling down.
Just like vegetables on a plate don’t do you any good if you don’t eat them, you have to take action to expect anything to change.
And don’t get discouraged if you fall back into doing ‘the same old things’. Shifting your mindset takes practice. The more you you do it the easier it will become.
Besides, you’re already feeling crummy, there’s only one way to go.
Up.
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