My Mid-Life… Crisis?

I think I’m going through a mid-life crisis.

No for real.

Not the alarming, I’m going to do something rash, or buy the female equivalent of a penis-mobile kind. More of a quiet nagging, daily realization that I am probably at the halfway point of my life. Right. now.

If all goes well, for 15 of those years, I should be retired and enjoying the successes of my hard work. So that leaves 25 years. I’ve got 25 years. To make my dreams happen. To do what fills my soul. To become financially abundant. To leave the world a little better for having been in it.

I’ve got 25 years to accomplish EVERYTHING!

I think a crisis isn’t unreasonable given the situation, amiright?!

‘So…’, I ask myself  ‘What was I so busy doing during the 20 years since I graduated college that I couldn’t create the amazing life of impact I should have made by now? What happened to becoming that successful BAD-ASS?!

Well… After college I got a job, met my husband, moved to New York, had 2 children, went to culinary school, moved back across the country, established a school garden, and created 2 websites which focus on my biggest passions in life.

I guess I was busy.

And yeah… I guess each of those things was meaningful to me. And I guess I am glad I did them. And I guess each experience did teach me lessons and skills that I added on to my previous skills.

Ok. I get it.

It doesn’t make me any less impatient, but at least I’ve got my answer.

I wasn’t ready.

I was doing the things I needed to do. Doing things that shaped me and refined me. Things that were difficult and poignant, and hurtful and scary, and beautiful. But I needed them all because they brought me to now.

So, I think I will rename my Mid-Life crisis a ‘Mid-Life-Reassesment’.

Because when you break it down, I AM a successful bad ass!

Maybe not in the races that I would like to be in, but in the races I have run.

I work hard, and I do a good job. No matter what I do. I always have. I’m not bragging, its just me.

Its what made kids see me as the teacher’s pet and Miss Goodie Two-Shoes when I was growing up.

Overachiever, A-type, Detail Oriented, Compulsive. Whatever words work for you.

And I totally understand when people are annoyed by me.

So yeah, I can accept that I’ve done things that I can be proud of. And right now, I  live a life doing things that yes, in general, I find important.

There’s just more stuff I want to do.

So while the actual ticking of the time-clock of my life is still true, I recognize that 25 years is different when you are starting with the life experience of a person in their 40s.

And if you are like me, and find yourself at the half way mark, and still need to ‘work on some stuff’ a ‘Mid-Life-Re-Assesment is perfect!

Assess + Pivot =Better.