Getting Back on Track

When I moved to California after living in New York for 8 years, I was thrown way off-balance. The people I had talked to on a daily basis…the familiar streets and scenes… were all gone in the blink of an eye. It had taken me 8 years to figure out how I worked in New York. I had no idea how I worked in California.

To be fair, I am from California. But New York is where I truly became the person I am today. It’s where my husband and I started our family.  Where motherhood forged a new me. But here I was, feeling like I was starting all over again.

The new elementary school I was going to be taking my daughter to made me more nervous for myself than for her. She’d be fine, but what about me?! What were the people going to be like? They probably all knew each other already. And what were they going to think of me? It was like Highschool all over again! Ok maybe not quite that bad, but the whole prospect sounded like a big drag.

On the first day of school I checked out the scene: The ‘workout’ moms, the ‘working professional’ moms, the ‘sports’ moms, the ‘really young’ moms and the ‘perfect at all times’ moms. Uh… where exactly was I supposed to fit into that mix?

And was I going to have to get put together just to pick up my kids from school?! I was already irritated at having to take part in this drama.

And I was mad that I was feeling any of this at all.

I was afloat again. And even more uncertain of my role and my place.

What I did this time though, was to go back to what I did the last time I felt this way. One thing that helped me the most, was to increase the influx of positivity in my life. It truly does have an effect on the way you feel. I tried to read more uplifting material, and spend time with people who also embodied that same quality.

I started going to therapy and renewed my relationship with my notebook, where I began to work out a plan for a happier me.  I thought about what I wanted the end result to look like, wrote a series of questions that helped me get clear answers, then planned out the actions that would move me in that direction. Here were my questions.

1.Reflect on the prior year and what you’ve accomplished

2.Determine what you truly want for yourself, your family and your life.

3.Set clear goals for the year to come

4.Create a plan for making it happen

Whenever I feel like I’m getting off track, I just go back to this list to help me refocus on the things that are the most important to me.

Sometimes you just need a little reminder from yourself that you really don’t care about whatever your freaking out about this time.