You Call It Toxic Positivity…I Call it Survival.

I’ve touched on my battle to stay emotionally steady before…

But with the current state of the world… its an even bigger issue.

And as I try to soothe my soul, another injury inevitably finds its way to me.

Many of my friends absolutely HATE the ‘Love and Light’ proclaimers of the world. And I understand why.

The term ‘Toxic Positivity’ was created for a reason.

They explain to me that they feel like the perpetually posting ‘light bringers’…:

–Are hypocrites. They talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk. It’s simply an attempt to paint an image of a perfect life, which probably hides a not so perfect life…

–Are simply ‘OPTING OUT’ of real issues by trying to live in a bubble of positivity. This ability is most likely because of the seat of privilege they sit in which allows them the luxury to ignore the suffering around them.

–Are perpetuating a lie. They are creating an unrealistic and unattainable goal for anyone who looks up to them, because being happy all the time is impossible, and if they proclaim that they are, they’re liars.

–Are creating insecurity in others who wonder why their lives aren’t as happy …’Is there something wrong with me?’

– Become emotionally dismissive when they meet another person’s painful moment or experience with something like…’It could be worse; look on the bright side; or Everything happens for a reason…(one of my personal problematic phrases)

I can tell you that not only do I not like disingenuous people, they are one of my biggest pet peeves. 

It’s why I hate small talk. 

It’s why I don’t cleave to the ‘popular’ people. 

It’s why my friend population is small and curated. 

Being genuine is one of the hallmarks of my favorite people.

But I wanted the friends of mine who are immediately turned offby people who post positive images, phrases, and stories, to know that there is another category of Positivity Proponents in the world, and I actually think that you might understand, relate to, and feel compassion for this subset.

Not to get political…cuz I totally could here 😉 …

But its kinda like protesters being painted with the same brush as rioters. They may be at the same place, but they are not doing the same thing.

They are simply not the same type of people.

Reminding me that the sky is beautiful doesn’t make my self-doubt any less, or help me manage my task list better, but it helps me operate from a happier headspace.

I NEED this kind of positivity in my daily life.

I NEED the reminders.

I NEED the different perspective.

I NEED the images, stories, and thought disruptors.

Because for me, it’s an ongoing battle. 

There is a tiny hole that lets my buoyancy out, and over time, if I don’t add in some back in, I’m on the ground.  

It’s not that I’m ignoring all of the bad stuff in the world. The corruption in religion and politics, broken homes, children being victimized, global warming…the list goes on and on.  

It’s that I’m trying to prevent the bad stuff from sinking my soul. 

If you are fairly steady on the regular, be thankful THIS is not your issue.

You are fortunate enough to have the emotional fortitude not to need this particular prop. (I’m sure you have other issues…)

But please don’t make me feel small for trying to survive. 

Don’t be the bully that sends me back to my safe space.

Bottom line…when you belittle, demean, laugh at, or disparage those annoying hypocrites, you are also talking to me. 

And it feels hurtful. 

If you don’t get it, just let it pass by. It’s clearly not your issue to get. 

But stop being a jerk about it.

Stop painting us all with the same brush, proclaiming your superior space that doesn’t peddle such drivel.

The next time some brightly worded post comes your way, ignore it, or consider the source more thoughtfully.

Those who suck, don’t deserve your time or contemplation. 

But it’s the soft ones who actually need MORE love, that are hearing your words and your judgement and taking it to heart.

Words are heavy things.

So just be careful where you are throwing them.