About Me

After graduating from UCLA, I started my career in television.

Entertainment Tonight was my very first job out of college, and it was actually on a whim that I even applied for the job. I hadn’t ever really considered working in entertainment, but when I saw the job listing, I thought…’That looks like fun.’ I started at the very bottom and 6 years later I was an Associate Director, writing and cutting pieces.

It’s also where I met my husband.

In May of 2006, my husband and I were asked to come along on an incredible adventure….We would need to move to New York to help launch Rachael Ray’s daytime talk show.

Oh yeah! I was game!

We packed up our dog, gecko and all of our belongings, and hopped on a plane bound for New York City. It was one of those life changing experiences, and certainly the biggest adventure I’d ever embarked on.

But within a year, our cross-country trek and transformation from California natives to New Yorkers seemed insignificant compared to an event that left me questioning my purpose, and with my self-esteem in shambles….

I became a stay-at home-mom.

I’m not sure what I thought motherhood would be like. Like many moms to be, I’m sure,  I was focused on the baby part of it, and didn’t pause to think about what it would be like for me to experience such a major identity shift.

 In my imagination, I was completely fulfilled when my child came. The idea of spending blissful days with my babyand caring for our home and family, appealed to my nurturing side.

It was exactly what I wanted… I thought.

I was partly right. Having a child is one of the most incredible, amazing, awe-inspiring experiences of my lifeand I was grateful that I was getting a chance to experience every part of it. But there was another sideof motherhood for me. A secret side that I didn’t want anyone to know about. The part that made me feel like a loser.

I was worried about what my former colleagues thought of my decision to be home.

Did they think I was giving up, I couldn’t hack it, or had they already forgotten about me?

At home, I felt this overwhelming need to prove to my husband that I was ‘earning my keep’ and to justify every dollar I spent.

It was demeaning and embarrassing.

This not only led to my plummeting self-esteem, but also to a feeling of resentment towards my husband.

Having a second child just intensified everything. It was depressing to be experiencing the greatest joys of my life as I realized my dreams of motherhood, while simultaneously questioning my validity in the eyes of the world and myself.

But it was being so lost that motivated me to look for solutions. 

I looked to other stay at home moms to find out how they were handling it all. I searched books for answers on finding my purpose. I started to eat healthier, and incorporated juicing, exercise and yoga. I became vegan and pursued a more mindful life. I looked inward to find and follow my personal bliss.

With a renewed hope for my future happiness, I took a leap of faith and enrolled myself in the Natural Gourmet Institute for Health and Wellness, a cooking school based on whole foods and plant-based cooking.

It turned out to be a transformative experience. I not only gained an education on how to cook in a healthy way for myself and my family, but it restored a great deal of my self-confidence. I was starting to get into a groove, and was seeing hope for a more fulfilled me.

But just a few months after graduating from NGI, I found myself falling apart….again.

We had just moved our family back to California after spending 7 years in New York.  I was thrilled to be going back home where both of our families lived.  With grandmas and aunts and uncles now available, we finally had babysitters and some free time.

We settled into new schools, a new house, and a new neighborhood. On the surface life was pretty good… but I wasn’t.

How was I going to have a rewarding marriage, be a great mom, offer a healthy life for my family, and pursue my own personal life passions while feeling so…not ok?

I was once again faced with digging in and trying to work it out, but this time was different because I had something to work with. My experiences in New York had left me with a basic blueprint and I decided to return to those things that had brought me out of my funk the first time.

As unlikely as it may sound, my journey towards peace and happiness came from one of the most energetic and intense cities in the world.

What I know is that it doesn’t matter where you are, if you are not ok inside it will suck wherever you go.

I also know that you can be happy wherever you are too.

I started my blog as a part of my desire to create a healthier, happier more meaningful life for myself and my family, and to share the tools and tips I gather with anyone else who is in search of the same things.

Read more about my life changing experience at the Natural Gourmet Institute.